Grunge Gamer

It just hasn't been a good two weeks to be a gamer. Last week, if we wanted to buy used games, we were told we were no better than common thieves. This week, we find out that if we want to continue to play games on Xbox Live, we're going to have to fork over an extra $10 a year. Gaming as a subculture is in trouble. Gamers for years have been pleading with society to take them seriously, but that serious nature comes at a steep cost - the cost of doing business.

Yo!  So I was playin ball with my olda brothas when this freakin demo comes chargin into the field.  The guy was all ova' the place!  Wicked drunk!  You'd think the staggerin cyclops would be easy to drag off the field, but he starts 'targin' all around and I have trouble gettin a hold of him!  Eventually he charged himself right into the swing of my Sandman, but that's besides the point. 

It got me thinkin.  What's up with all the speed buffs from Mann Co. lately?  Equalizer, Eyelander, Pain Train, Targe...  What the heck is all this crap?!  When I enlisted, my employer told me it was my duty to provide one unique skill to the team...  The same ability I honed right here on the streets of the roughest town in the world.  Speed. 

Sorry for the lull everybody, winter breaks are productivity killers. Without further delay, we present the final list of gamers we love to hate.

We've all played with them. They exist out there and there's nothing that can be done to stop them. Some are funny, some are tragic and then there are those that make you sad to know that we share a gene pool. Grunge Gamer presents part one of the most loathsome multiplayer gamers.

Fuck you. Specifically the one I got into a shouting match with on Saturday night, fuck you.

You think you're cool because you know a map exploit in Call of Duty to get underneath the map and kill anybody who has the misfortune of playing? You're a cocksucker and deserve to be banned for life from Xbox Live.

I'm sure you're all a bit perplexed by the title and I'll do my best to try to explain.

I play a lot of games online, mostly FPS and these days it's relatively limited to console action save for some TF2 action here and there on my PC. Like the majority of people out there I play the Call of Duty franchise on my 360 and a little Killzone 2 on the PS3. Just to be clear, this is directed at the CoD crowd. Now that the formalities are out of the way, let's get to the good stuff.

I'm sure there are a plethora of rants out there that already complain about the Wii since its release. There is a reason that the controller dominates most of console gaming's history. That's because it works. Damn well I might add.Controllers give you a sense of...well, control. You can feel a controller. You move the joystick slightly and you walk; push it to the edge and you run. It's a simple concept and it works. The Wiimote changed that.