Grunge Gamer

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 A fanatical scream.  That’s what it would be.  One, long, open mouthed scream.  Probably with a lot of head-shaking and hair pulling.  That’s what I would ‘say’ if I had to sum up my review of Portal 2 in one word.  The screams of Bieber fans would pale in comparison.

Let’s get to it, shall we?

I have to hand it to this game.  Released in 2001, this sci-fi MMORPG is still kicking it 9 years later.

I began playing it shortly after its release, stopped for 5 years, and came back to find most of the same people still at it.  They join up, play for a year or two, leave for school or an affair to chase tail, but they always come back.  I’ve even seen people fall back on it while waiting for the newer games to drop major updates.  Anarchy is a unique blend of sci-fi, interwebz humor, and fantasy that seem to addict its players despite its old age.  (There’s even a reference in it to Ceiling Cat watching you, well, you know.)  Whatever the catching ingredient is, it’s still working, and you can play it for free if you want to get a feel for it.

The TF2 Halloween Event is here and it’s pretty fun.  Just jump into a Mann Manor server to get your Halloween Phatz.  Here’s what to look forward to:

THE HORSELESS HEADLESS HORSEMANN: This is the boss of the event.  When he spawns it’s a lot like Saxton Hale mode- he’s got a lot of HP and he keeps pursuing players (both red and blue) and he can fear you.  Just keep attacking him while dodging the other team.  If you kill him you’ll get a pumpkin hat (his head) to wear.

PAPER BAG MASKS: Random gifts spawn throughout the map and the first one to find the gift gets the prize.  They seem to spawn pretty frequently and I’ve only seen them drop the paper bag hats.  There is 1 for every class, and any class can wear any class’s paper bag.

SAXTON HALE MASK: If you craft all 9 class masks, you get the Saxton Hale mask, and it counts as an achievement.  Because it counts as an achievement, I think that means you can only craft it once.

Every Friday Ma asks me to pick up a fresh bottle of milk and a fish for dinna, but brotha, not all Fridays are the same.

Anybody caught alone, lost, on the back streets a South Boston is frikkin asking fa’ah beatin.  But this time, you shoulda seen this guy!  He musta been 8 feet tall, minimum!  Hikin boots, plum-smugglin super high khaki shorts, hat, and no shirt- are you frikkin kiddin me!?  Last thing I need to see on my way home to ma is 20 yards of tangled chest haih.

When I first saw this guy, he was tapping on the front window of an old bakery, each rap a his fingah makin a small crack in the glass.  I joined the group of people gatherin around and watched as a sandvich stuffed hoovy asked him to leave.  The guy turned around, drew 100 liters of air into his lungs, and bellow out, “SAXTON HALE!”    

Everyone cowahd!  Nobody could move!  We were deafened!  Stunned by the scream.  And brotha, in one swift kidney punch he took the hoovy down.  Once we got our bearings back, we mobbed him.